At some point, we all fall victim to dragging our feet, unrelenting fatigue or perpetual weariness.  Stress is our body’s reaction to challenging situations and becomes harmful when it is prolonged. We become exhausted when the body quits seeking solutions and looks toward defeat. When this happens, stress can result in physical symptoms such as a weakened immune system, digestive problems, high blood pressure and heart disease, among others.

It’s important to knowledge the principal cause of that stress, known as a stressor.  As Lancaster Occupational Health expert, Professor Cary Cooper suggests, you cannot solve a problem without first taking hold of the situation.  So the first step toward solution to everyday stress is self-compassion. In other words, being kind to yourself.

Self- Compassion

Negative stress often arises as a result of our mind’s fear that we are incapable of meeting up with some set goals or perceived milestones. To remove these particular stressors, you need to reduce these self-induced pressures. Often, we want to measure our achievements or successes against everyone else’s. We want to keep pushing ourselves despite achieving, and even surpassing the initial objectives. The need to be the perfect student, have the perfect marriage, the perfect hair, drop pounds more quickly.   This kind of thinking pushes people into a realm of discontent and a continuing need to engage in self-criticism.

A study of freshmen college students revealed one of the easiest ways of coping with stress is to avoid being hard on oneself. According to Dr. Katie Gunell, self-compassion was effective in coping with the stress of high expectations and transition from high school to college.

By accepting the fact that you are only human, and humans make mistakes, you can then be kinder to yourself and more forgiving of your errors and shortcomings.

Try some of these simple changes:

• Treat each situation as unique and different. There’s no need to identify or compare each and every situation with prior experiences or someone else’s experience.
• Don’t overthink. Cut yourself some slack.  Some things aren’t that hard; you just make it out to be.
• Accept that mistakes happen and see them as part of a learning curve to get better at tackling other problems in life.
• Treat yourself to something you love.  We all have a unique way to destress that works best for us.  Identify yours and indulge a little. It might be music, a book, sleep, movies, social media, hanging out with a  friend.
• Don’t isolate yourself. Develop and nurture friendships, but avoid competitive people who put you down as they are unnecessary stressors.  Note that sometimes competitive people’s cues are subtle and indirect. They might slip in a comment because they feel bad about themselves and the only way to get a sense of relief is try to make you feel even worse. Remember it’s their own ineffective way of trying to cope with the need to be better.

Having compassion for yourself does not only help reduces your stress, but also helps develop an invigorating and optimistic perspective towards life, which can counteract depressive symptoms. So try loving yourself the way you are and being kind to yourself as one of your “go-to” strategies for combating stress.